To Be Okay or Not To Be Okay

We ask the question all the time, "Are you okay?" I think we rarely take the time to answer that question honestly or listen to what's not being said by others. We feel a need to be strong, to stay positive, to say what we would like it to be instead of being honest about our current realities. The first step to our realities aligning with what we would like them to be is being honest about where we are right now, in this present moment. We quote the quote, "It's okay to not be okay," but what does that really mean? What is, okay?

We have to study ourselves enough and have an awareness enough to know when we are traveling away from okay. I have learned for me, okay means centered, aware of my present state, and pursuit of resolution, peace, and contentment with the things that I cannot control. Sometimes, I have to talk myself into okay, and sometimes I sit in non-okayness with an understanding that I don't have the answers, making peace with the fact that I am unsure how long it will last.

I am good or great when I have maintained centeredness, peace, and contentment for an extended period of time. I am not waking up fighting for it or tussling internally. I wake up, and I just get to be. I am currently in a middle place, not bad, not good, not okay, but at peace. It's not a terrible place to be, but I'm finding that it is uncomfortable because I cannot define it. If I look to my left, I can find joy and gratefulness for where I am, what God has done, and the life I have the blessing to live. If I look to my right, I have a full awareness of a sadness that could envelope me, broken relationships that are forever changed, and annoyances about things that should be different but may never be. I refuse to look behind me, and when I look ahead, I see opportunity, hope, and a foggy path that has just enough light to keep walking forward.

For those of you who find it hard to settle in places with no definition, it's okay, you are not alone. It's okay that you do not always have language for where you are or how you feel. It may take some time, but the words will come. For those of you who are traveling away from your good because life is overwhelming, it's okay, you are not alone. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and take a seat. I know you don't do it often, but you have permission to pause for a moment. Pauses help you refocus, and if you sit there long enough, you will be reminded that this feeling and moment is temporary. For those of you who can say you are great right now, I am celebrating with you. Take it in and create a memory with all of your senses of how it feels so that when you travel, you have something to return to.

Okay or not okay, good or not good, or choosing to rest in the middle, it's all a part of the journey. I hope in this moment you feel the warmth of love and support because I see and feel you today.