Permission To Be

Permission, noun, to get consent or authorization. Consent, noun, permission for something to happen or agreement to do something. Authorization, noun, to give permission or authority. These words give the impression that there is someone with more authority, control, or jurisdiction. To receive permission, consent, or authorization, there is one party asking and one party with authority or ownership that must agree with the ask.

There are some things that require permission, using something that belongs to someone else or a need to access a person, place, or thing where you do not have authority or clearance. There are some things that do not require permission, but we find ourselves asking, verbally or non-verbally, if it’s okay to say, be, or do. I have observed that we as women, even when strong, tend to give away our power. We experience pain, heartache, rejection, and things that slowly chip away at our confidence, self-worth, motivation, courage, and strength. We are left with a fragment of what God intended, and we are expected to continue excelling, performing, and meeting needs. We do it. We show up. We put on our smiles, share encouraging words, and leave those places unfulfilled and empty.

You do not need anyone’s permission to say, be, or do. Sometimes we need to tell people the truth so they can grow. We can be so concerned with offending others that we miss opportunities to not only affirm but hold others accountable. Sometimes we need to be angry, sad, or frustrated. They are real emotions that come from a real place. The ability to healthily express emotion allows us space to process our experiences and gradually move toward joy, a place that brings acceptance, contentment, and lasting peace. Sometimes we need to do things that are unexpected, unconventional, and not on the schedule. It sparks creativity and allows us to use our gifts. We pour out so much daily, and yes, community is vital, but it is a beautiful thing when we learn how to pour back into ourselves.

We have given away what belongs to us, and little by little it’s time to take it back.

That is the heart behind permission. We need moments to inhale and exhale. We need safe spaces to talk about what’s really on our minds with no judgement. We were created for connection, and if we are honest, real community does not happen behind a screen. It truly happens when we can gather together, look one another in the eye, grab a hand, and remind our sister that she is loved and needed. True connection happens when a warm hug transitions into tears because that sister has not experienced genuine touch that does not require something in return. Safe spaces are created so we can pour out and refill. There aren’t enough safe spaces.

The most impactful experiences in my own life happened when there was someone with wisdom and experience, not necessarily older, who was willing to be open and vulnerable, sharing space, time, and lessons with me. I remember seasons when I yearned for connection, and no one was there to meet the need. My desire within this community is that the need does not go unmet for someone else. Being vulnerable is difficult, opening your heart to others without being able to predict the future is scary, but you will be more fulfilled, happy, balanced, and grateful when you learn the importance of connection and when you willingly receive love.

You do not need permission, but just in case you needed to see it to receive it, you have permission. You have full permission to grieve your loss, it’s the only way your heart will heal. You have permission to pursue your purpose. It doesn’t matter if it’s fast or slow, if there is movement, you are living your dream. It’s not one destination or one accomplishment, but it does take one decision. When your mind is made up, actions begin to follow. You have permission to release that relationship or create boundaries. It is not healthy for you, and you cannot change a person. People must choose, and that choice may never happen if you keep trying to fix them.

You have permission to receive love. No matter what mistakes you have made, you are worthy of love. The decisions from your past do not have to define who you are or your future.  You even have permission to make mistakes. It’s a natural part of life and your struggle with perfection is stealing joy and fulfillment from moments that you cannot get back. I know you want to “get it right,” but what is right anyway? Some of the greatest inventions, stories, strategies, and developments were created from doing things “wrong.”

I am starting my days giving myself permission to say, be, and do. My heart is pure, I am leading with compassion, and I’m operating out of love. No one did anything impactful playing it safe, and I have wasted enough time asking for things that already belong to me. Where I have authority and access, I do not need permission, and you do not need permission either.