In the Moment

It is very rare that I sit, write, and I do not know what I am going to say at least a day before I post. I guess sometimes that is the beauty of the moment, whatever comes after this point will be real, current, and relevant - at least that has been my past experiences when this happens.

I think I want to talk about transition today. We all experience it, elementary to middle school, high school to college, college to the real world, being single to getting married, mother of babies to mother of teenagers. Transition is inevitable, certain, and usually very uncomfortable. It involves movement from something you have become accustomed to, to something unfamiliar. I am in transition, but this time it's different.

It's the type of transition you couldn't anticipate or plan for. It's movement I do not have a frame of reference for. In my experience, times like these require focus, awareness, and flexibility. I think it becomes difficult in moments because this transition with no definition takes place in the midst of regular days and reoccurring responsibilities. I am in an unfamiliar space, but I still have to show up for work, my family, and my responsibilities. It makes me feel vulnerable, unprepared, and unsettled.

I imagine you have been in seasons when you wanted everything and everyone around you to pause or completely stop. You desire a moment to catch up with all the realities you didn't plan or foresee. I can say with certainty that I desire that in this present moment, a restart. These moments remind me no matter how much I plan and try to prepare for what I think the future will be, there are so many things that are out of my control. There are people and decisions I can influence, but ultimately, there are some things that are not up to me.

My solution, surrendering to the moment. I can embrace this time in my life with a grace I have not earned because even when things take time, they still work out, mostly not in a way that I want or expect, but it still works. In these moments, I can embrace the softer sides of myself because although vulnerability is uncomfortable, it's a reminder of my humanity. I can allow someone else to do the heavy lifting because the need for control is only a response to fear, uncertainty, and a lack of trust.

When this transition started, I knew I was changing in ways that could not be undone. It's messy sometimes, I do not always know the right things to do or say, but it has a childlike innocence that allows me to let go and just be. There is freedom in just being, not trying to fix things, figure it out, or even be the solution. There is freedom in leaving things visibly broken because if you did not know, you and I were not meant to fix everything or save everyone.

I encourage you to embrace your moment, your space, your transition in the best way possible. There's nothing wrong with you, it's just a part of growing up, something I hope I never stop doing. Protect this space and surrender to it because whoever and whatever is left on the other side of the beautiful mess will provide the energy, tools, and support you need for who you are becoming.