I Am the Villain

Have you ever heard the quote, I am the villain in someone's story? You may have heard the quote, but have you lived it? I think acknowledging the quote and living it is two separate things. I will tell you, when you make the decision you know is best for the other person, not necessarily what you want to do, becoming the villain is far more painful.

I embrace being the villain, as painful, uncomfortable, and unfair as it may seem. It is necessary. I can think of several people in my life where I decided to create distance, where I decided to release them, or where I decided to acknowledge that I was an enabler and because of that decision it created a pain in me (and them) that almost felt unbearable. When we have the ability to see the big picture and we decide that people's future are more important than temporary relief, we can make a conscious decision to not tell our side and be the bad guy.

As a natural communicator, we want to provide explanation, but when we do, we detract from the other person's process. We take away the opportunity for them to grow and figure out what is necessary on their own. Life is always the best teacher because those lessons last far longer than the lessons taught by other people's experience. When you are connected to the person that must learn, tears fall because you know life lessons are way more painful than the teacher just sharing a story.

Why are we talking about this? We are talking about this, because I am the villain. I have caused trauma, pain, misunderstanding, and disruption, not by choice, but because it is necessary for the growth of others. I know we prefer the comfort of knowing we were there or we saved the day, but our true responsibility is to allow people to become on their own path. We naturally want to save people from heartache, pain, and the things we have experienced, but unfortunately some only learn through experience.

I am slowly embracing this path. I do not call or text. I send literal prayers because to be honest, we hope that people revert to the creator of all instead of us. Again, we want to save the day, but what good is it if they have to repeat this experience to learn the lesson. It is the beauty of free will. Those who save the day are angry when those we save do not listen. Conserve your energy, be the villain, and wait with expectation that life lessons will be the ultimate teacher.

It's okay to cry, grieve and even struggle with the right decision. But I implore you - make the right decision because momentary pain will triumph over temporary relief. You can not change people's will, desires, or decisions. The best thing you can do is remove yourself so that the decision is completely theirs and the lesson is truly learned.

I am the villain, and this time I embrace it, tearfully but with comfort. I know I made the right choice. I will not live a life full of guilt because I saved the day only for them to experience this trial again. I will not live a life with a broken heart because I cannot bear the breaking of others that is necessary. I will not deny that the breakings that I experienced were needed so that I could become everything God intended. I will not interfere with the creator's will because the villain I become in that scenario is far worse then the villain they made me to be.

I am the villain.